So yesterday was my kid’s birthday party planning day, right? And I suddenly realized I totally forgot about getting helium for all these balloons I bought. Panic mode activated big time.
The Helium Hunt Begins
First thing I did was grab my phone like a maniac. Searched “helium tank rental near me” – nada. Seriously, zero hits for actual rentals. Then started calling around:
- Tried Party City first – guy said “yeah we fill balloons here” over the phone. Got my kid all hyped up. Drove 15 minutes (which became 30 with traffic) just to have them say “sorry bro, we only fill balloons bought HERE.” Felt like an idiot.
- Called Walmart customer service next – lady sounded confused. Put me on hold for ages then came back with “we don’t do that sir.” Real helpful.
- Even tried a dollar store! The teenager working there laughed at me. Actually laughed.
At this point I was getting desperate. My kid kept asking “daddy when are the balloons gonna fly?” and I’m standing there holding bags of flat rubber like a clown.
The Plot Twist
Remembered some gas supply places from when I refilled propane tanks. Called AirGas – got transferred three times before someone said “yeah we sell helium tanks… smallest is 100 cubic feet.” My garage ain’t that big! That tank costs more than my kid’s whole birthday cake!
Got real quiet for a minute there. Just me, my phone, and like 30 deflated balloons staring at me.
Last Resort Move
Finally caved and searched Amazon while sitting in my car outside Party City feeling dead inside. Found this janky-looking DIY balloon kit with a tiny helium tank. Cost like $50 bucks for barely enough gas. Delivery said “arrives tomorrow” – party was in 6 hours. Freaking useless.
Then I spotted the “available at Whole Foods” tag. Swung by – actually had it! Little tank looked like it belonged in a science class, but whatever. Rushed home, assembled this flimsy plastic nozzle contraption, and started filling. Took me 3 tries to not pop the balloons.
Moral of this whole disaster: Never trust what websites say about helium. Always call and ask TWO questions: “Do you fill balloons?” and “Do I need to buy them from you?” Saved by a Whole Foods run and nearly blew up my living room with cheap plastic.