Alright, let’s talk about that number: 1500 grams. It’s etched in my brain, really. Wasn’t some recipe I was trying out or a package I was mailing. It was way more personal than that.
It all started way too early. Things were supposed to be smooth, you know? Following the plan, checking the boxes. Then suddenly, everything went sideways. Fast. One minute, we’re picking out paint colors, the next, we’re in the hospital, lights flashing, people talking fast. Doctors, nurses, machines beeping. It was a blur.
Then came the waiting. Felt like forever. Finally, a doctor came out, looking tired. And he said the number. 1500 grams. That’s just over three pounds, for folks who don’t use grams. Tiny. Smaller than you can really picture until you see it.
The Real Work Began
Seeing something, someone, that small… it changes you. Suddenly, all the plans, all the stuff we thought mattered, it just vanished. The real practice started right there.
- First, there was just watching. Through the plastic box. Feeling completely useless.
- Then, learning the routines. Washing hands like a surgeon, over and over.
- Getting to hold him, finally. Skin-to-skin they called it. Felt terrifying and amazing all at once. He was just so fragile.
- Learning to feed through a tiny tube. Measuring milliliters like it was gold.
- Dealing with the setbacks. Alarms going off. Doctors explaining things I barely understood.
It was exhausting. Day in, day out. Drive to the hospital, sit, hold, worry, drive home. Sleep? Not much. You just function. You put one foot in front of the other because you have to. There’s no manual for this stuff, really. You just learn by doing. Mess up sometimes, learn fast.
We got into a rhythm, eventually. A very stressful rhythm, but a rhythm nonetheless. Celebrating tiny victories. An extra gram gained. A tube removed. Breathing on his own for a little longer. Each step felt huge.
That period, it was all about that number. Getting past it. Getting bigger than 1500 grams. Then 1600, then 1700. Each gram was a fight won.
So yeah, 1500 grams. It wasn’t a project goal I set. It was a starting line I never expected. A tough one. But we got through it. You find a strength you didn’t know you had. That number isn’t scary anymore. It’s just… part of our story now.