So today I was scrolling through some sketchy forums where people were arguing about whether helium gets you high. Like, dudes were dead serious about sucking it from balloons for fun. Figured I’d test this garbage myself since my garage happens to have a helium tank for party stuff.
Grabbing the Gear
First, I dug out that shiny silver helium tank. Connected a balloon nozzle, filled a regular party balloon halfway – didn’t wanna go full dummy mode right away. Found my kid’s voice-changing app on an old tablet to record audio changes.
The Sucking Part
Pinched the balloon neck, took one quick sniff – immediately felt dizzy. Not like giggly drunk dizzy, more like standing-up-too-fast dizzy. My voice turned squeaky like a chipmunk for like three seconds. Felt zero euphoria or relaxation. Just… nothing. And slight pressure behind my eyeballs? Weird.
Checked the app recording: voice pitch shot way up, then dropped normal after two breaths.
Second Attempt (Yeah, Dumb)
Tried deeper inhale. Held it three seconds. Big mistake.
- Vision went spotty like TV static
- Got lightheaded so bad I sat on the bathroom floor
- Felt actual panic because breathing felt weirdly empty
Stumbled to my oxygen meter (bought during COVID). Normal is 97%. After helium? Dropped to 82%. Felt cold sweat popping out. Took five minutes leaning against the wall before the spots cleared.
Why It’s Absolute Nonsense
Helium ain’t nitrous oxide. It doesn’t mess with your brain chemicals. All it does is displace oxygen in your lungs. That high feeling? Nah, that’s your brain cells screaming for air. You’re basically suffocating yourself for a squeaky voice prank. Noticed my heartbeat racing too – body going into panic mode.
Nearly passed out leaning over the sink. Legit scared myself. Imagine if I’d done this standing near stairs… shivers.
Final Takeaway
Folks saying it’s a harmless high are dangerously wrong or lying through their teeth. You want fun? Eat spicy noodles. This crap gave me zero buzz, just cold sweats and regrets. And that tank? Getting rid of it tomorrow. Not worth becoming a Darwin Award story over some squeaky words.
(PS: My kid found the voice recording hilarious though. Silver lining?)