Alright folks, gather ’round. Today’s mess project involved trying to make those little tank balloons you see online look easy. Figured I’d give it a shot myself, camera rolling and everything, see if it lived up to the hype. Spoiler alert: it was chaos, but kinda worked? Here’s the whole dang journey.
The “Gathering Stuff” Phase (Read: Where I Got Lost)
Started by grabbing whatever was lying around the house, because buying stuff felt like cheating. Aimed for the classic little tank look.
- A regular round balloon (bright green, not my first color choice, but hey)
- A long skinny balloon (they call ’em 260s or something? Basically a sausage shape)
- One of those plastic water bottle caps (empty milk jug one seemed too big)
- Markers for decoration (not permanent ones, big mistake)
- Scotch tape (my lifeline)
- Scissors (obviously)
See? Super basic, just like the tutorial promised. Had no clue if this was the right stuff, but figured “easy” meant using junk.
Actually Trying to Make This Thing
Right, step one: blow up the big green balloon about 2/3 full. Wanted it firm, not exploding-on-touch firm. Felt about right.
Next, that skinny balloon. Blew it up maybe a foot long? Maybe less? Made a simple knot, then the “advanced” part: bending it roughly in half. Pinched the middle to make it kink, and taped it right onto the top of the big green balloon. Suddenly had a… green thing with a crooked sausage sticking out the top. Promising? Not really.
Grabbed the plastic bottle cap. This was supposed to be the turret, turning the sausage into a cannon. Taped the flat bottom of the cap onto the end of the skinny balloon. Looked incredibly stupid, like a toilet paper tube glued to a balloon. Gravity was not our friend.
Time for tracks. Cut a strip of cardboard from a cereal box, folded it messily along its length to make a kinda rigid strip. Slapped this underneath the big green balloon with LOADS of tape. Did the same for the other side. It looked lumpy and the tape was super visible. Threw on another strip lengthways along the “tank body” top, hoping it looked armoured. Nope. Looked like sticky tape holding junk together (because it was).
Making it Look Like Something (LOL)
Grabbed the markers. Decided the big green balloon needed some camo spots. Used brown and green… which immediately started smearing because the balloon surface is waxy and I forgot the permanent marker rule. Ended up with muddy streaks. Drew a tiny, lopsided star on the side. Classy.
Wrestled with the turret. Wrapped some marker around the bottle cap, tried to add a sight thing. Looked like a kid drew it. Because I basically did.
The Moment of Truth (And Near Disaster)
Okay. The structure was… holding? Mostly. It sat crookedly on the table. The “cannon” sagged noticeably. Time to inflate the tracks a bit! Took my trusty skinny balloon pump (okay, my lungs) and gave a tiny, TINY puff into the folded cardboard strips underneath… like maybe a quarter second of air.
Nothing happened. Did a slightly bigger puff.
POP
Scared the heck out of the cat. The tiny puff had made the cardboard bulge slightly, but the tape seal was garbage. Air shot out instantly. Tank balloon just kinda sat there, sagging turret and all. Total dud?
Was feeling salty. Tried inflating it again the next day with that dumb pump thingy. Used way more tape this time, reinforcing every seal. Took a deep breath and gave a cautious, half-second blow.
Holy shoot. The cardboard strips puffed out just a little! Not driving anywhere, but suddenly it wasn’t flat! It had a bit of lift! The green body sat perched on these slightly puffy tracks, the lopsided turret pointing vaguely forward. It looked… shockingly like a goofy, derpy tank balloon! My marker “camo” was still smudged beyond belief, and everything was crooked, but it worked!
Gotta say, the feeling of dumb luck triumphing over my shoddy craftsmanship was pretty darn satisfying. It’s sitting on my desk right now, slowly deflating like a sad little army man. Easy? Hah! More like messy and unpredictable. But possible? Yeah, surprisingly.
So yeah. Grab some balloons and tape. Prepare for frustration. Maybe have backups. And hope the tape holds. Who knows, you might end up with a lumpy green tank too!
Anyone else tried this monstrosity? How’d your tape hold up?